I'm a major insomniac. Help anyone if you can!?

I've been taking medication of some sort for the past year and 9 months. I still only get about 5 hours and its not good sleep because I still always look so tired. I'm so afraid of this aging me physically and my face. But I'm afraid to stop taking the meds in fear of no sleep at all. If it wouldn't effect my looks I'd try it. But obviously it will I'm 42 years old almost 43. I'm so depressed and scared I've thought so often about ending my life! But I always chicken out because I don't know how I'd do it. But this is how unbelievably miserable I am. Nobody I know understands and if anything acts likes it not a problem. But it's such a problem to me. I don't even work because I'm afraid I'll get even less sleep and look horrid going to work. I've always had a job before this happened. I live with my parents right now and they I know are fed up. But they don't push me because they fear I'll kill myself. I just don't know what to do anymore. The con's seem to outweigh the pro's at this point! Any info would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!